Whimsical Conversation

I’ve been in two relationships this year and muddled both of them up good and well. Now I will point out that either guy was nowhere near what I need or want, and definitely made some *huge* mistakes themselves . However, I’ll own up to the fact that I did have a hand in picking them, and I picked poorly. Both situations literally forced me, like no other situation has, to take a good and hard look at myself in the proverbial mirror, and face the real me staring back.
And I’ve got to tell you, I didn’t exactly love the reflection.
Just to name a few things…I didn’t like the career I was in, the specific job I held, the friends I kept, the state of my health, the opportunities both personally and professionally I passed up- and it was all due to my fear of failure.

I realized that I wasn’t a fan of who I was quickly becoming. I was beginning to resemble, more and more, someone who was living in fear.
FEAR that if I made the decision to start “weeding out”  friends that weren’t ever really great friends, and start finding new ones that were, that maybe I might end up alone.
FEAR that if I quit my job (that I was beginning to loathe) that I would never find one that paid as well, had the hours I would need, etc.

I’m not sure if it was pure genius or pure insanity, but after I had an “aha!” moment about all of this afore-mentioned fear and it’s repercussions on my life, I decided to take action.
I quit my job and broke up with my then boyfriend in the same day. I quit my job without having a new one secured and lined up. Okay now on second thought, I realize it must have been sheer insanity, but to get to the point- it lit a fire under my ass.
The bottom line is this: I was completely unsatisfied with the place I was at in my life. Day to day things were becoming a struggle, and I was becoming increasingly miserable with the status quo with each week that passed.
And for the first time in my life, instead of blogging about my misery, or complaining to my mom or something else that would be completely ineffective,  I decided to make a change. And sometimes with great risk comes great reward. I scored an AMAZING job with a world class company, and I will say it’s definitely a step up.
I’ve learned a HUGE life lesson this year first hand.
Fear is EVIL. Fear is a LIE.
And it can be the smallest things that make the biggest difference. Think about it- choosing to not go out on that blind date, or not trying the different food on the menu because what if it sucks, etc.
Every small desire you suppress due to fear slowly starts chipping away at you, and before you know it, you live your entire life out of fear, and you miss out on SO MUCH.
I’ve had a wonderful reminder that…you can do anything you set your mind to. You can accomplish any dream you envision. If your mind can conceive it, your body can achieve it. And whether you think you can, or think you cannot, either way you are right. It doesn’t matter what your bank account says, what your skin color is, how tall or short, skinny or fat, blond or brunette, smart or stupid, you are.  And if you don’t like something in your life, do something to change it.

You can do anything the guy next to you can do. The question is: will you even try?